Today I put my two and half year old son in a pull up to go out. You may wonder why that’s even worth mentioning, I mean he is only two and half years old. Each child potty trains in their own time. However, last week I only put him in a pull up at bed time, and even then I forgot two nights and he was dry in the morning. The last two days he has only made it to the potty a few times, and more times than not, he didn’t make it at all. I was discouraged, disappointed and wondering what happened. Did I do something to cause this? Am I being less consistent? The truth is, the answer may be yes. I was talking this over with my husband who said, we all regress sometimes.
That one comment hit home harder than I thought. We all do regress sometimes don’t we? Especially when we are first learning the ropes of a new skill. Even once we think we have a handle on this new skill, a bump, and a small set back. It hits us hard when we do, we feel a bit of disappointment, a bit of failure build up. Why are we, especially mothers, so hard on ourselves? We all know the old saying the only thing we are guaranteed in life is change. We often do not embrace this change. We struggle and we fight against it, but it still happens. Change is coming no matter how hard we fight against it.
This journey we call parenthood is just a big ball of change. I know for me each time I thought I had gotten a handle on it, something would change, hence the potty training. Each time I would catch myself wondering what happened, where did I go wrong. It wasn’t until my fourth child that I learned to accept this, well let’s be honest I am still not accepting it. I remember with my four year old, he and I had just gotten into a good nursing routine when bam, out of nowhere he was hungry all the time, fussy before his next nursing time. I found myself worried I wasn’t producing enough. I thought I was starving my baby. I felt my body had betrayed me. Within a week we were back in a good routine, he had just gone through a growth spurt and my body was adjusting to his needs changing. In fact I hadn’t done anything. Again with his sleeping pattern, we were in a good nap and night time schedule and just when I was adjusting he began to get up more at night. The same is true for each stage and each new milestone. And trust me each child does not do this in the same way to make things even harder to accept.
Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves. Let’s start accepting life is full of changes, sometimes we have control over it, and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes something has to change, sometimes change just needed to happen. Relax, trust in yourself and trust that it will all be alright, and accept that just when you think you’ve got it, something new will come along.